Instead of a whole explanation of everything that's been going on lately, I will just jump right in with a real post!
I was very fortunate to have attended a serious learning program after I [became religious? became Orthodox? This is a topic for another post but anyway...] I truly believe that I wouldn't have genuinely been mitzvah-observant had I not taken detailed classes on halacha and Tanach. I would have had no framework for knowing the halacha. So I do understand why there are so many BT people who really don't know anything and just ask a rav questions on every single thing without understanding the process behind the answers, and then they do things that are weird.
One big example is, how do you learn the laws of Shabbos without taking classes? A lot of people seem to pick up pieces of information by spending time in the homes of frum people and doing "watch and learn." Which is certainly a component of learning what to do. But the problem is when you don't understand what you are seeing. And I am not just singling out BTs for that issue - people raised in a frum home don't know what parts of their home rituals are halacha, community custom, family custom, etc. unless they have formal halacha instruction as well.
Anyway, I chose to write about this topic because I recently had an experience that illustrated this situation. My husband was raised by BTs who had NO formal halacha instruction. They certainly have their own understanding of a number of things, many of which my husband does differently because of his learning, though there are things that he also has changed more recently as he learned differently. (I am trying to say this in a repsectful way and asked DH's permission to say this.) Anyway, there are a few things that come up that I see DH do/not do on Shabbos that are different than my understanding of the halacha. I almost never bring it up because they are minor things. (I am focusing on hilchos Shabbos only because this is the area that we studied in depth - when it is in other areas, such as holiday observance, I will assume that I am the one who is incorrect because he certainly has way more learning from sources in those areas.)
So after five years of marriage (!), I fianlly asked him what was the deal with putting towels over the pots on the stove erev Shabbos. And he said, "It's to keep them warm." I really thought all this time that it was some halachic thing for him. And I happened to know that it wasn't really halacha. But it gave me a reminder of how other people without that knowledge would approach things they see at people's houses - especially if they either didn't get a chance to ask or the person they asked also didn't know and gave them an incorrect answer. They might go through life believeing, for example, that you had to cover your pots with the kitchen towels, and may even either make up extra chumras about it (like what thickness of towel) or make actual halachic errors -- like not realizing that you actually can't do the covering after Shabbos starts.
Sadly, we personally know a really nice couple who are this type. They take everything that one particular rabbi says literally - even when they admit that it makes no sense to them. The wife does not have any formal learning as far as I know, and the husband is in the "learn Gemara all the time" mode that this rabbi subscribes to, rather than a broader base of halacha and Tanach. Their rabbi has chumras about kashrut so they stopped eating certain KOSHER things. (This rabbi handed out a list of acceptable hechshers and crossed off KSA). Their rabbi told them something about baby care on Shabbos that we believe they totally misunderstood and is now making their life difficult. The husband repeats ideas that he clearly does not understand -- it's like "here's word-for-word what the rabbi said in shul" rather than "I heard a great idea from the rav that I really liked and I want to explain it."
I have a related funny story on the topic of Learning to Daven from "Rabbi Art Scroll" but I will save that for tomorrow.
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11 comments:
Welcome back, Esther. I missed your blog. This was a great post.
You're back! I'll call tomorrow to say hi, and I can explain why I am up so late -or-alternatively up so early.
As to the topic of your post, understanding the logic behind halacha is key. I unfortunately didn't take the chance to go to a seminary, but enjoy halacha very much and have tried to put in a solid effort to learn and understand certain topics. I find the system quite logical. But, you have to learn halacha as part of an interconnected system, not as a random set of rules that emerged from nowhere.
It is important to learn from watching and listening too, I believe. There is something to mesorot Avot, and as we learned together ages ago now, there are situations where fellow Jews should be corrected, and other situations where something that is technically a violation should be ignored (remember learning that together back in the day?).
However, I can tell stories of things a friend of mine was told NOT to do by a lady with quite a mesorah and when she actually spoke to the Rav of the community (after my prodding) she found out the advice she was given was not correct. The Rav told her, she is just doing things the way her mother and grandmother did it (in regards to food in this instance) and doesn't know the foundation that will allow other things to be done also.
Esther:
While you and I have benefited from practical halakhah classes and sefarim, it is clear to me that a lot of people are not in the same boat.
In my years on the derekh, there has only been one rabbi that I most comfortable about asking shailas from; unfortunately, he is the rabbi at an egal minyan (but has a Skokie smichah). The rabbi I started to get close to, died right after Purim (just a coincidence).
Right now, this shul is on the great rabbi search (my next topic, bli neder). Our membership hinges on who is selected.
Perhaps why I haven't taken on "too many" chumras is because I have studied the halakha. Perhaps one of the blogging rabbis should start having Practical Halakhah shuirim on his blog. (Ha-emtza, are you reading this?)
I consider dailyhalacha.com (which I reference often) to be one of the best halacha sites out there. Unfortunately, the conclusion is for Sephardim, but often (in the style of true halachic discourse) the standard Ashekanz psak is given also. So, maybe you would find it useful.
There must be a good online English reference for Ashkeanzim, is there not?
Eli7. I am always asking rabbis to give shiurim on these types of things, especially Shabbos cooking, which many people have never had the opportunity to learn, and therefore, don't understand. However, I have never gotten a positve response. The answer is always, "we did one a few years ago" or "we don't really need that in our community". Unfortuneatly, there are a lot of people who do things on Shabbos that makes it problamatic to eat that their house, and they do it only b/c they never were taught otherwise.
Hi everyone, thanks for reading what I am noticing today was a REALLY long post! SephardiLady, I looked at that site after you posted something and it looks very interesting. I hope we will find a comparable online source for Ashkenazim.
Just wanted to clarify that when I am talking about learning, I don't necessarily mean someone has to go to yeshiva or seminary, but rather that they do some kind of practical learning rather than exclusivly going to hashkafa shiurim and/or straight gemara learning. And certainly they should ALSO "watch and learn" - but follow up with actual learning on the subject.
Out Of Town - Thank you for adding this comment. It's unfortunate that giving a halacha shiur would be seen as implying that people don't know halacha, so since we're all frum we must not need the shiur.
Occassionally our shul does a practical halacha series: taharat hamishpacha reviews, Shabbat cooking, Kashrut for certain situations.
The turnout is always great and I think it is sad that there are not regular practical halacha shiurim.
One community I lived in always had shiurim before each holiday to review halacha and other subjects. I'm sad this isn't standard everywhere.
My husband gets a lot of practical halacha at the end of his minyan and it is seasonal: three weeks, selichot, Rosh Hashana, etc, all from Yalkut Yosef or the Ben Ish Hai.
A combination of both is definitely ideal.
Just by seeing a bunch of wrong conclusion could be drawn.
Beside it's important to realize that FFB's don't always know everything and make mistakes too.
Thus learning from their mistakes is very unproductive.
Got a joke for you...What is the difference between Artscroll and the Mishneh Berurah? Not everyone holds by the Mishneh Berurah :)
But seriously I thought the towels on pots things was ok even after shabbos as long as there was no tight wrapping that would really be like insulating. But now I'm not remembering where I learned that so I'd best not go on :)
Great blog!
Got a joke for you...What is the difference between Artscroll and the Mishneh Berurah? Not everyone holds by the Mishneh Berurah :)
But seriously I thought the towels on pots things was ok even after shabbos as long as there was no tight wrapping that would really be like insulating. But now I'm not remembering where I learned that so I'd best not go on :)
Great blog!
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